Let’s Speak Up Story: It’s All Started with Raising Superhero…
It Started with After-School Playdates… Then Came the Text Message That Changed Everything.
The idea behind Let’s Speak Up™ and the SELF-Ex™ Guide began in the most unexpected way: during after-school playdates filled with the unfiltered chatter of my daughter and her friends.
- “Zoe locked Mia in the bathroom. Mia was crying for help, but Zoe wouldn’t let her out.”
- “She keeps chanting, ‘Nelly, Nelly, you’ve got a big belly.’”
- “Zoe and her friends hid Mia’s lunchbox and passed it around under the tables.”
At first, it sounded like typical schoolyard drama. But the pattern revealed something far more disturbing—a normalized dysfunction. Beneath the surface was a silent scream: I feel powerless.
These weren’t harmless squabbles. They were stories of humiliation, exclusion, name-calling, and harassment—pain masked as “kids being kids.” The children weren’t just gossiping. They were pleading: Help me.
“Ms. Gordon said she’d handle it… but nothing ever stops Zoe and her friends.”
The kids were confused, disillusioned. Why weren’t the adults stepping in? Why didn’t anyone stop the torment?
Then came the message from Mia’s mom that shook me to my core:
“Mia can’t take it anymore. She’s suicidal. I don’t know what to do.”
That was the turning point.
From Deeds by Kids™ to Let’s Speak Up™
That heartbreaking message reignited our work with Deeds by Kids™ and sparked a new initiative: From a Bully to a Buddy. Our goal was to give children the tools to advocate for themselves and others.
Through our Share Your Story platform, kids shared their lived experiences—offering honest insight and solutions to teachers, counselors, administrators, and guardians. Over 400 stories poured in. From bickering to brutal bullying, each one revealed deep emotional distress, feelings of helplessness, and in far too many cases, experiences with self-harm or violent thoughts fueled by rage.
This wasn’t just a community issue. It was a national crisis.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 60% of K–12 students say bullying is a major problem in their lives. A highlighted study found that 24% of students suffer chronic bullying throughout their school years, which is directly correlated to poor academic achievement.
More importantly, the stories revealed consistent patterns:
- Adults often mishandle bullying reports—minimizing them, dismissing them, or worse, discrediting the victims.
- Kids are told to “stand up for themselves,” but no one shows them how.
- When kids speak up, they’re told, “We took care of it”—but nothing changes.
- Many situations were either exaggerated or misunderstood, yet no one gave kids the tools to assess or resolve conflict constructively.
The result? Confused, isolated, angry children—betrayed by the very adults who were supposed to protect them.
We realized children didn’t just need support. They needed strategy. They needed skills. They needed to become their own superheroes.
The Birth of SELF-Ex™: A Method for Leadership and Advocacy
We developed the SELF-Ex™ Method—a proprietary, principle-based, and purpose-driven framework designed to help individuals respond to adversity with clarity, confidence, and responsibility.
The SELF-Ex™ Method steps:
- Set ONE’s Purpose Intentionally
- Evaluate the Situation Objectively
- Lead with the Best Option Responsibly
- Formulate a Plan & Forge Ahead Confidently
- Examine Outcomes for Growth
Each step aligns with the ONE™ Tool:
- Objectives
- Needs
- Expectations
When clarity replaces confusion, confidence takes root. And when children take responsibility for their own safety and well-being, power emerges.
SELF-Ex™ Tools for Change:
Transforming Obstacles into Opportunities
SELF-Ex™ isn’t just a framework. It’s a toolkit—with over 17 interactive power skills techniques for making values-based decisions and communicating them assertively.
Some tools include:
- ARC™ – Accept, Reject, or Change (boundary-setting)
- LEAPP™ – Learn, Evaluate, Assess, Plan, Pledge (decision-making framework)
- E-LEADERS™ – Assertive, respectful, collaborative communication
- FRAMEE™ – Incident tracking and emotional reflection
- 21-SLR Options – Over 21 strategic responses to harm or conflict
These tools are used by both youth and adults—giving everyone the structure, clarity, and confidence to lead with values and courage.
Why We Founded Let’s Speak Up™
When the #MeToo movement erupted, a darker pattern surfaced: schools covering up sexual misconduct and abuse.
In one case, a boy at an elite school took photos under girls’ skirts. When we reported it, the administration tried to silence our daughter instead of holding the boy accountable. She turned to us and said: “You told me to speak up. Look what they’re doing to me.”
That moment changed everything.
We expanded our mission from Deeds by Kids™ to Let’s Speak Up™—a platform to educate, empower, and advocate for children’s well-being.
We began tracking and exposing:
- Sexual misconduct
- Racism
- Antisemitism
- Hazing
- Administrative cover-ups
We uncovered 15 DARVO-style tactics used by administrators to silence victims, protect wrongdoers, and reverse the roles of harm and accountability. These patterns became part of our education and advocacy materials.
From Advocacy to Action
We brought our stories to school board meetings. We told the truth. We demanded transparency and integrity.
Then, I ran for school board. Not to be a politician—but to be a light in the darkness.
The backlash was immediate: hate mail, smear campaigns, union-aligned bullying. But we refused to back down.
Because this isn’t political. It’s personal. It’s moral.
Turning Pain into Purpose
Whether it’s bullying, misconduct, or the rise of campus antisemitism—the common thread is this: Institutions are failing to lead with integrity.
Let’s Speak Up™ is here to fill that gap by raising a new generation of advocates, leaders, and courageous communicators.
In 2021, the SELF-Ex™ Method was named a Top Educational Solution in the global ReOpen Education Challenge—sponsored by IDEO, the Nikou Foundation, and the USC Center EDGE.
Today, we offer workshops, coaching, curriculum, and real-world tools to families, educators, and youth.
